Recently I overheard a Father and daughter in their last moments together at the airport. They had announced the departure.
Standing near the security gate, they hugged and the Father said, 'I love you, and I wish you enough.'
The daughter replied, 'Dad, our life together has been more than enough. Your love is all I ever needed. I wish you enough, too, Dad.'
They kissed and the daughter left. The Father walked over to the window where I was seated. Standing there I could see he wanted and needed to cry.
I tried not to intrude on his privacy, but he welcomed me in by asking, 'Did you ever say good-bye to someone knowing it would be forever?'
'Yes, I have,' I replied. 'Forgive me for asking, but why is this a forever good-bye?'.
'I am old, and she lives so far away. I have challenges ahead and the reality is - the next trip back will be for my funeral,' he said.
'When you were saying good-bye, I heard you say, 'I wish you enough..' May I ask what that means?'
He began to smile. 'That's a wish that has been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone...' He paused a moment and looked up as if trying to remember it in detail, and he smiled even more. 'When we said, 'I wish you enough,' we were wanting the other person to have a life filled with just enough good things to sustain them.' Then turning toward me, he shared the following as if he were reciting it from memory.
I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright no matter how gray the day may appear.
I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun even more.
I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive and everlasting.
I wish you enough pain so that even the smallest of joys in life may appear bigger.
I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.
I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final good-bye.
He then began to cry and walked away.
They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them; but then an entire life to forget them.
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Friday, September 25, 2009
A Most Important Question
During my second month of nursing school our professor gave us a pop quiz. I was a conscientious student and had breezed through the questions, until I read the last one: “What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?”
Surely this was some kind of joke. I had seen the cleaning woman several times. She was tall, dark-haired, and in her 50s, but how would I know her name? I handed in my paper, leaving the last question blank.
Before class ended, one student asked if the last question would count toward our quiz grade. “Absolutely,” said the professor. “In your careers you will meet many people. All are significant. They deserve your attention and care, even if all you can do is smile and say hello.”
I’ve never forgotten that lesson. I also learned her name was Dorothy.
Surely this was some kind of joke. I had seen the cleaning woman several times. She was tall, dark-haired, and in her 50s, but how would I know her name? I handed in my paper, leaving the last question blank.
Before class ended, one student asked if the last question would count toward our quiz grade. “Absolutely,” said the professor. “In your careers you will meet many people. All are significant. They deserve your attention and care, even if all you can do is smile and say hello.”
I’ve never forgotten that lesson. I also learned her name was Dorothy.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
SLOW DANCE
Have you ever
watched kids
On a merry-go-round?
Or listened to
the rain
Slapping on the ground?
Ever followed a
butterfly's erratic flight?
Or gazed at the sun into the fading
night?
You better slow down.
Don't dance so
fast.
Time is short.
The music won't
last.
Do you run through each day
On the
fly?
When you ask How are you?
Do you hear the
reply?
When the day is done
Do you lie in your
bed
With the next hundred chores
Running through
your head?
You'd better slow down
Don't dance so
fast.
Time is short.
The music won't
last.
Ever told your child,
We'll do it
tomorrow?
And in your haste,
Not see
his
sorrow?
Ever lost touch,
Let a good
friendship die
Cause you never had time
To call
and say,'Hi'
You'd better slow down.
Don't dance
so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't
last.
When you run so fast to get somewhere
You
miss half the fun of getting there.
When you worry and hurry
through your day,
It is like an unopened
gift....
Thrown away.
Life is not a
race.
Do take it slower
Hear the
music
Before the song is over.
This is a poem written by a terminally ill young girl in a New York Hospital.
watched kids
On a merry-go-round?
Or listened to
the rain
Slapping on the ground?
Ever followed a
butterfly's erratic flight?
Or gazed at the sun into the fading
night?
You better slow down.
Don't dance so
fast.
Time is short.
The music won't
last.
Do you run through each day
On the
fly?
When you ask How are you?
Do you hear the
reply?
When the day is done
Do you lie in your
bed
With the next hundred chores
Running through
your head?
You'd better slow down
Don't dance so
fast.
Time is short.
The music won't
last.
Ever told your child,
We'll do it
tomorrow?
And in your haste,
Not see
his
sorrow?
Ever lost touch,
Let a good
friendship die
Cause you never had time
To call
and say,'Hi'
You'd better slow down.
Don't dance
so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't
last.
When you run so fast to get somewhere
You
miss half the fun of getting there.
When you worry and hurry
through your day,
It is like an unopened
gift....
Thrown away.
Life is not a
race.
Do take it slower
Hear the
music
Before the song is over.
This is a poem written by a terminally ill young girl in a New York Hospital.
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Strength Out of Weakness
by Dick Innes (Daily Encounter)
In his book, Confidence, Alan Loy McGinnis talks about a famous study entitled "Cradles of Eminence" by Victor and Mildred Goertzel, in which the family backgrounds of 300 highly successful people were studied. Many of the names of those in the study were well known to most of us-including Franklin D. Roosevelt, Helen Keller, Winston Churchill, Albert Schweitzer, Gandhi, and Einstein, all of whom were brilliant in their fields of expertise.
The results of this study are both surprising and encouraging for many of us who came from a less-than-desirable home life. For example: "Three-quarters of the children were troubled either by poverty, by a broken home, or by rejecting, over-possessive or dominating parents.
"Seventy-four of 85 writers of fiction or drama and 16 of the 20 poets came from homes where, as children, they saw tense psychological drama played out by their parents. "Physical handicaps such as blindness, deafness, or crippled limbs characterized over one-quarter of the sample."
These people who had confidence in their abilities and put them to creative use all have had more weaknesses and handicaps than many who have a lack of confidence because of low self-esteem. So, what made the difference? Probably by compensating for their weaknesses they excelled in other areas.
One man reported, "What has influenced my life more than any other single thing has been my stammer. Had I not stammered I would probably have gone to Cambridge as my brothers did, perhaps have become a don and every now and then published a dreary book about French literature." The speaker who stammered until his death was W. Somerset Maugham, as he looked back on his life at age 86. By then he had become a world-renowned author of more than 20 books, 30 plays, and scores of essays and short stories.
It's not what we have or don't have that matters in life, but what we do with what we have and what we do about facing and resolving our issues. As somebody else has said and whom I have often quoted, "I may have been a victim in the past, but if I remain one, I am now a willing volunteer." No matter what our background, we can and do have hope for the future. It's up to us what we do in the present that will help us to become what we need to be in the future.
In his book, Confidence, Alan Loy McGinnis talks about a famous study entitled "Cradles of Eminence" by Victor and Mildred Goertzel, in which the family backgrounds of 300 highly successful people were studied. Many of the names of those in the study were well known to most of us-including Franklin D. Roosevelt, Helen Keller, Winston Churchill, Albert Schweitzer, Gandhi, and Einstein, all of whom were brilliant in their fields of expertise.
The results of this study are both surprising and encouraging for many of us who came from a less-than-desirable home life. For example: "Three-quarters of the children were troubled either by poverty, by a broken home, or by rejecting, over-possessive or dominating parents.
"Seventy-four of 85 writers of fiction or drama and 16 of the 20 poets came from homes where, as children, they saw tense psychological drama played out by their parents. "Physical handicaps such as blindness, deafness, or crippled limbs characterized over one-quarter of the sample."
These people who had confidence in their abilities and put them to creative use all have had more weaknesses and handicaps than many who have a lack of confidence because of low self-esteem. So, what made the difference? Probably by compensating for their weaknesses they excelled in other areas.
One man reported, "What has influenced my life more than any other single thing has been my stammer. Had I not stammered I would probably have gone to Cambridge as my brothers did, perhaps have become a don and every now and then published a dreary book about French literature." The speaker who stammered until his death was W. Somerset Maugham, as he looked back on his life at age 86. By then he had become a world-renowned author of more than 20 books, 30 plays, and scores of essays and short stories.
It's not what we have or don't have that matters in life, but what we do with what we have and what we do about facing and resolving our issues. As somebody else has said and whom I have often quoted, "I may have been a victim in the past, but if I remain one, I am now a willing volunteer." No matter what our background, we can and do have hope for the future. It's up to us what we do in the present that will help us to become what we need to be in the future.
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Friday, September 18, 2009
Children see. Children Do.
Beautiful you, beautiful children, beautiful life.
Set a good example.
NAPCAN's latest campaign for a Child Friendly Australia.
Set a good example.
NAPCAN's latest campaign for a Child Friendly Australia.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Sunday, September 13, 2009
How Bad do You Really Want to Succeed in Life?
by Doug Firebaugh
How bad do you really want to succeed in life? A little? A lot? Are you willing to fight for it?
Let the fighting spirit in you refuse to give up. He did. He came home, slammed the books down on the table, ran upstairs, slammed the door and broke down and cried. It was his 10th grade year. His mother came in, and said, "Son, what's wrong?" Through a 15-year-old's broken heart, he said, "I didn't make the team … they said I was too small."
With incredible wisdom, the mother said, "Son, it's not the size of the person in the game, it's the size of the game in the person."
It clicked. The next morning, he got up at 4:30 AM and started practicing-every morning, every evening, every day, every week, every month, relentless, nonstop. He gave up movies and things that he did before.
He kept saying, "It's not the size of the player in the game, but the size of the game in the player." And when the season came around again, he tried out with a focus so strong that it intimidated even the coach. And he made the team. The next year he made the team. And he went on to explode.
His name? Michael Jordan.
How bad do you really want to succeed in life? A little? A lot? Are you willing to fight for it?
Let the fighting spirit in you refuse to give up. He did. He came home, slammed the books down on the table, ran upstairs, slammed the door and broke down and cried. It was his 10th grade year. His mother came in, and said, "Son, what's wrong?" Through a 15-year-old's broken heart, he said, "I didn't make the team … they said I was too small."
With incredible wisdom, the mother said, "Son, it's not the size of the person in the game, it's the size of the game in the person."
It clicked. The next morning, he got up at 4:30 AM and started practicing-every morning, every evening, every day, every week, every month, relentless, nonstop. He gave up movies and things that he did before.
He kept saying, "It's not the size of the player in the game, but the size of the game in the player." And when the season came around again, he tried out with a focus so strong that it intimidated even the coach. And he made the team. The next year he made the team. And he went on to explode.
His name? Michael Jordan.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Are You Secretly in a Rut?
By Ellen Welty, Redbook
You've got a big, big life. You've got work plus family and friends. You've got an impressive to-do list and a cell phone to help you keep everyone and everything on track. But here's the big question: Do you feel fulfilled? Or do you sometimes suspect that your life is leading you instead of you leading it?
That's the essential difference between being in a groove and being in a rut--and it's all too easy to fall into the latter these days, given our highly structured lives. For one thing, we're overextended: "Now more than ever, women have additional expectations of themselves. They're having children and taking care of homes and working, and the traditional concept of the weekend as a time to relax has disappeared--it's now often a time to get yet more done," says sociologist Geoffrey Godbey"
And then there's the influence of technology--cell phones, BlackBerrys, e-mail. It's not that 'busy' is the enemy," he notes. "What matters is whether your busy schedule includes things you enjoy." If you're obsessed with always using your time "productively," you might not feel gratified. What might be missing, Godbey notes, are some of those satisfying, freer moments when you can let your brain wander down interesting byways, discover new passions...or just chill.
The tricky thing about this rut business is that you may be stuck in one without realizing it. Perhaps you keep everything chugging along, and all seems fine on paper. Yet inexplicably, you have a low-level case of the blahs. Figure out just how much of a rut--or groove--you're in, then check out the strategies on how to bust that rut, or make the groove you're in even groovier.
When you're in a groove, you know... That a suddenly free block of time--even just 30 minutes--is an opportunity. "Having even the littlest taste of what you want to do feels incredibly refreshing," says Barbara Sher, author of Live the Life you Love. So if you're in groove mode and, for instance, you're into bird-watching, you don't tell yourself to sit tight until you have the time to drive to a nature center two hours away; you just grab your binoculars and head outside. If you're in a rut, however, you'll likely use that mini-block of free time to tackle some chores on your to-do list (which ultimately leaves you feeling more "blah" and uninspired). Or you draw a total blank on what you would really like to do and drift, by default, to something easy but unfulfilling, like goofing around on the computer.
Start a list--right this very second--of activities you enjoy so that you'll know exactly what to do when a chunk of precious free time falls into your lap. If you feel that you just have to toss in a load of laundry or check your e-mail or pull the chicken out of the freezer for tonight's dinner at some point during your free half-hour, at least do one fun thing first so that your joy doesn't get lost in the shuffle, Sher suggests.......
Once you see how delicious it feels to have those random moments of pure enjoyment, you'll want to grab them more often.
It's the end of the day, and your to-do list has only three quarters of its items crossed off. Quick: How do you feel about that fact? If you feel ashamed and vow to push yourself that much harder next week, you're probably stuck in a rut, concludes psychiatrist Edward Hallowell, author of CrazyBusy: Overstretched, Overbooked, and About to Snap! "Women in a rut typically take on a lot of obligations," he explains. "They don't usually stop and ask themselves, Does this really matter to me?" And that's too bad, because slowing down and giving yourself fewer to-do's leaves more room in your brain for various new ideas to sprout--so you have more energy to think creatively about the rest of your life. (Oh, and by the way, you'll probably be more efficient at completing those mundane tasks if you spend some of your time having fun, Hallowell points out.)
The solution for all you to-do-list slaves? "Be a good boss to yourself," suggests Marner,. "You can't enjoy life if it overwhelms you. If you're not getting to things on the bottom of your list, how important are they, really? I ask myself, Do I need to move them up on the list? If not, then I just let them go." Another way to tame a to-do list: Prioritize it, advises organizational pro Marcia Ramsland, author of Simplify Your Life: Stop Running and Start Living! Label one section of your list "Urgent": This is for tasks you don't love doing but have to, such as paying bills that are due in two days. Label another section "Important" or "Personal"; include in it "things that will put balance back into your life or have meaning for you," says Ramsland, such as "Go for a walk with Jill" (an old friend you haven't seen in a year). Put these personal items at the top of your list and star them. Then be sure to do at least one of them a day. If you can't think of anything, leave some space on your list, draw a border around the space in your favorite color--and soon you'll come up with a fun to-do to fill it.
Everyday "have-to's"--like exercising and eating right--are tools for life, not burdens. Yes, yes, you know that you have to do these things, but they needn't feel like have-to's if you can manage to upgrade your attitude toward them. Stefanie Schmidt, 30, a marine biologist from Las Vegas, makes cooking more fun by concentrating on different spices and how they change her dishes. Moreno looks forward to hitting the kitchen most when she invites friends or extended family over to cook once a week. Same goes for exercising: Find ways to change it from a have-to to a want-to. (Cartwheels on the lawn with your kid, anyone? How about 10 toe-touches before a party to put some color in your cheeks?) It'll become an opportunity to make your life richer. Going outside your usual comfort zone enriches you. The best way to feel alive--and brave--is to try some new things.
You've got a big, big life. You've got work plus family and friends. You've got an impressive to-do list and a cell phone to help you keep everyone and everything on track. But here's the big question: Do you feel fulfilled? Or do you sometimes suspect that your life is leading you instead of you leading it?
That's the essential difference between being in a groove and being in a rut--and it's all too easy to fall into the latter these days, given our highly structured lives. For one thing, we're overextended: "Now more than ever, women have additional expectations of themselves. They're having children and taking care of homes and working, and the traditional concept of the weekend as a time to relax has disappeared--it's now often a time to get yet more done," says sociologist Geoffrey Godbey"
And then there's the influence of technology--cell phones, BlackBerrys, e-mail. It's not that 'busy' is the enemy," he notes. "What matters is whether your busy schedule includes things you enjoy." If you're obsessed with always using your time "productively," you might not feel gratified. What might be missing, Godbey notes, are some of those satisfying, freer moments when you can let your brain wander down interesting byways, discover new passions...or just chill.
The tricky thing about this rut business is that you may be stuck in one without realizing it. Perhaps you keep everything chugging along, and all seems fine on paper. Yet inexplicably, you have a low-level case of the blahs. Figure out just how much of a rut--or groove--you're in, then check out the strategies on how to bust that rut, or make the groove you're in even groovier.
When you're in a groove, you know... That a suddenly free block of time--even just 30 minutes--is an opportunity. "Having even the littlest taste of what you want to do feels incredibly refreshing," says Barbara Sher, author of Live the Life you Love. So if you're in groove mode and, for instance, you're into bird-watching, you don't tell yourself to sit tight until you have the time to drive to a nature center two hours away; you just grab your binoculars and head outside. If you're in a rut, however, you'll likely use that mini-block of free time to tackle some chores on your to-do list (which ultimately leaves you feeling more "blah" and uninspired). Or you draw a total blank on what you would really like to do and drift, by default, to something easy but unfulfilling, like goofing around on the computer.
Start a list--right this very second--of activities you enjoy so that you'll know exactly what to do when a chunk of precious free time falls into your lap. If you feel that you just have to toss in a load of laundry or check your e-mail or pull the chicken out of the freezer for tonight's dinner at some point during your free half-hour, at least do one fun thing first so that your joy doesn't get lost in the shuffle, Sher suggests.......
Once you see how delicious it feels to have those random moments of pure enjoyment, you'll want to grab them more often.
It's the end of the day, and your to-do list has only three quarters of its items crossed off. Quick: How do you feel about that fact? If you feel ashamed and vow to push yourself that much harder next week, you're probably stuck in a rut, concludes psychiatrist Edward Hallowell, author of CrazyBusy: Overstretched, Overbooked, and About to Snap! "Women in a rut typically take on a lot of obligations," he explains. "They don't usually stop and ask themselves, Does this really matter to me?" And that's too bad, because slowing down and giving yourself fewer to-do's leaves more room in your brain for various new ideas to sprout--so you have more energy to think creatively about the rest of your life. (Oh, and by the way, you'll probably be more efficient at completing those mundane tasks if you spend some of your time having fun, Hallowell points out.)
The solution for all you to-do-list slaves? "Be a good boss to yourself," suggests Marner,. "You can't enjoy life if it overwhelms you. If you're not getting to things on the bottom of your list, how important are they, really? I ask myself, Do I need to move them up on the list? If not, then I just let them go." Another way to tame a to-do list: Prioritize it, advises organizational pro Marcia Ramsland, author of Simplify Your Life: Stop Running and Start Living! Label one section of your list "Urgent": This is for tasks you don't love doing but have to, such as paying bills that are due in two days. Label another section "Important" or "Personal"; include in it "things that will put balance back into your life or have meaning for you," says Ramsland, such as "Go for a walk with Jill" (an old friend you haven't seen in a year). Put these personal items at the top of your list and star them. Then be sure to do at least one of them a day. If you can't think of anything, leave some space on your list, draw a border around the space in your favorite color--and soon you'll come up with a fun to-do to fill it.
Everyday "have-to's"--like exercising and eating right--are tools for life, not burdens. Yes, yes, you know that you have to do these things, but they needn't feel like have-to's if you can manage to upgrade your attitude toward them. Stefanie Schmidt, 30, a marine biologist from Las Vegas, makes cooking more fun by concentrating on different spices and how they change her dishes. Moreno looks forward to hitting the kitchen most when she invites friends or extended family over to cook once a week. Same goes for exercising: Find ways to change it from a have-to to a want-to. (Cartwheels on the lawn with your kid, anyone? How about 10 toe-touches before a party to put some color in your cheeks?) It'll become an opportunity to make your life richer. Going outside your usual comfort zone enriches you. The best way to feel alive--and brave--is to try some new things.
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