When you are feeling alone like no one cares, read this because it's absolutely true:
Every night, someone thinks about you before they go to sleep.
At least fifteen people in this world love you.
The only reason someone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you.
There are at least two people in this world that would die for you.
You mean the world to someone.
Someone that you don't even know exists loves you.
When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it.
When you think the world has turned its back on you, take a look.
Always remember the compliments you've received.
Forget the rude remarks.
Showing posts with label beautiful advice. Show all posts
Showing posts with label beautiful advice. Show all posts
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Are You Secretly in a Rut?
By Ellen Welty, Redbook
You've got a big, big life. You've got work plus family and friends. You've got an impressive to-do list and a cell phone to help you keep everyone and everything on track. But here's the big question: Do you feel fulfilled? Or do you sometimes suspect that your life is leading you instead of you leading it?
That's the essential difference between being in a groove and being in a rut--and it's all too easy to fall into the latter these days, given our highly structured lives. For one thing, we're overextended: "Now more than ever, women have additional expectations of themselves. They're having children and taking care of homes and working, and the traditional concept of the weekend as a time to relax has disappeared--it's now often a time to get yet more done," says sociologist Geoffrey Godbey"
And then there's the influence of technology--cell phones, BlackBerrys, e-mail. It's not that 'busy' is the enemy," he notes. "What matters is whether your busy schedule includes things you enjoy." If you're obsessed with always using your time "productively," you might not feel gratified. What might be missing, Godbey notes, are some of those satisfying, freer moments when you can let your brain wander down interesting byways, discover new passions...or just chill.
The tricky thing about this rut business is that you may be stuck in one without realizing it. Perhaps you keep everything chugging along, and all seems fine on paper. Yet inexplicably, you have a low-level case of the blahs. Figure out just how much of a rut--or groove--you're in, then check out the strategies on how to bust that rut, or make the groove you're in even groovier.
When you're in a groove, you know... That a suddenly free block of time--even just 30 minutes--is an opportunity. "Having even the littlest taste of what you want to do feels incredibly refreshing," says Barbara Sher, author of Live the Life you Love. So if you're in groove mode and, for instance, you're into bird-watching, you don't tell yourself to sit tight until you have the time to drive to a nature center two hours away; you just grab your binoculars and head outside. If you're in a rut, however, you'll likely use that mini-block of free time to tackle some chores on your to-do list (which ultimately leaves you feeling more "blah" and uninspired). Or you draw a total blank on what you would really like to do and drift, by default, to something easy but unfulfilling, like goofing around on the computer.
Start a list--right this very second--of activities you enjoy so that you'll know exactly what to do when a chunk of precious free time falls into your lap. If you feel that you just have to toss in a load of laundry or check your e-mail or pull the chicken out of the freezer for tonight's dinner at some point during your free half-hour, at least do one fun thing first so that your joy doesn't get lost in the shuffle, Sher suggests.......
Once you see how delicious it feels to have those random moments of pure enjoyment, you'll want to grab them more often.
It's the end of the day, and your to-do list has only three quarters of its items crossed off. Quick: How do you feel about that fact? If you feel ashamed and vow to push yourself that much harder next week, you're probably stuck in a rut, concludes psychiatrist Edward Hallowell, author of CrazyBusy: Overstretched, Overbooked, and About to Snap! "Women in a rut typically take on a lot of obligations," he explains. "They don't usually stop and ask themselves, Does this really matter to me?" And that's too bad, because slowing down and giving yourself fewer to-do's leaves more room in your brain for various new ideas to sprout--so you have more energy to think creatively about the rest of your life. (Oh, and by the way, you'll probably be more efficient at completing those mundane tasks if you spend some of your time having fun, Hallowell points out.)
The solution for all you to-do-list slaves? "Be a good boss to yourself," suggests Marner,. "You can't enjoy life if it overwhelms you. If you're not getting to things on the bottom of your list, how important are they, really? I ask myself, Do I need to move them up on the list? If not, then I just let them go." Another way to tame a to-do list: Prioritize it, advises organizational pro Marcia Ramsland, author of Simplify Your Life: Stop Running and Start Living! Label one section of your list "Urgent": This is for tasks you don't love doing but have to, such as paying bills that are due in two days. Label another section "Important" or "Personal"; include in it "things that will put balance back into your life or have meaning for you," says Ramsland, such as "Go for a walk with Jill" (an old friend you haven't seen in a year). Put these personal items at the top of your list and star them. Then be sure to do at least one of them a day. If you can't think of anything, leave some space on your list, draw a border around the space in your favorite color--and soon you'll come up with a fun to-do to fill it.
Everyday "have-to's"--like exercising and eating right--are tools for life, not burdens. Yes, yes, you know that you have to do these things, but they needn't feel like have-to's if you can manage to upgrade your attitude toward them. Stefanie Schmidt, 30, a marine biologist from Las Vegas, makes cooking more fun by concentrating on different spices and how they change her dishes. Moreno looks forward to hitting the kitchen most when she invites friends or extended family over to cook once a week. Same goes for exercising: Find ways to change it from a have-to to a want-to. (Cartwheels on the lawn with your kid, anyone? How about 10 toe-touches before a party to put some color in your cheeks?) It'll become an opportunity to make your life richer. Going outside your usual comfort zone enriches you. The best way to feel alive--and brave--is to try some new things.
You've got a big, big life. You've got work plus family and friends. You've got an impressive to-do list and a cell phone to help you keep everyone and everything on track. But here's the big question: Do you feel fulfilled? Or do you sometimes suspect that your life is leading you instead of you leading it?
That's the essential difference between being in a groove and being in a rut--and it's all too easy to fall into the latter these days, given our highly structured lives. For one thing, we're overextended: "Now more than ever, women have additional expectations of themselves. They're having children and taking care of homes and working, and the traditional concept of the weekend as a time to relax has disappeared--it's now often a time to get yet more done," says sociologist Geoffrey Godbey"
And then there's the influence of technology--cell phones, BlackBerrys, e-mail. It's not that 'busy' is the enemy," he notes. "What matters is whether your busy schedule includes things you enjoy." If you're obsessed with always using your time "productively," you might not feel gratified. What might be missing, Godbey notes, are some of those satisfying, freer moments when you can let your brain wander down interesting byways, discover new passions...or just chill.
The tricky thing about this rut business is that you may be stuck in one without realizing it. Perhaps you keep everything chugging along, and all seems fine on paper. Yet inexplicably, you have a low-level case of the blahs. Figure out just how much of a rut--or groove--you're in, then check out the strategies on how to bust that rut, or make the groove you're in even groovier.
When you're in a groove, you know... That a suddenly free block of time--even just 30 minutes--is an opportunity. "Having even the littlest taste of what you want to do feels incredibly refreshing," says Barbara Sher, author of Live the Life you Love. So if you're in groove mode and, for instance, you're into bird-watching, you don't tell yourself to sit tight until you have the time to drive to a nature center two hours away; you just grab your binoculars and head outside. If you're in a rut, however, you'll likely use that mini-block of free time to tackle some chores on your to-do list (which ultimately leaves you feeling more "blah" and uninspired). Or you draw a total blank on what you would really like to do and drift, by default, to something easy but unfulfilling, like goofing around on the computer.
Start a list--right this very second--of activities you enjoy so that you'll know exactly what to do when a chunk of precious free time falls into your lap. If you feel that you just have to toss in a load of laundry or check your e-mail or pull the chicken out of the freezer for tonight's dinner at some point during your free half-hour, at least do one fun thing first so that your joy doesn't get lost in the shuffle, Sher suggests.......
Once you see how delicious it feels to have those random moments of pure enjoyment, you'll want to grab them more often.
It's the end of the day, and your to-do list has only three quarters of its items crossed off. Quick: How do you feel about that fact? If you feel ashamed and vow to push yourself that much harder next week, you're probably stuck in a rut, concludes psychiatrist Edward Hallowell, author of CrazyBusy: Overstretched, Overbooked, and About to Snap! "Women in a rut typically take on a lot of obligations," he explains. "They don't usually stop and ask themselves, Does this really matter to me?" And that's too bad, because slowing down and giving yourself fewer to-do's leaves more room in your brain for various new ideas to sprout--so you have more energy to think creatively about the rest of your life. (Oh, and by the way, you'll probably be more efficient at completing those mundane tasks if you spend some of your time having fun, Hallowell points out.)
The solution for all you to-do-list slaves? "Be a good boss to yourself," suggests Marner,. "You can't enjoy life if it overwhelms you. If you're not getting to things on the bottom of your list, how important are they, really? I ask myself, Do I need to move them up on the list? If not, then I just let them go." Another way to tame a to-do list: Prioritize it, advises organizational pro Marcia Ramsland, author of Simplify Your Life: Stop Running and Start Living! Label one section of your list "Urgent": This is for tasks you don't love doing but have to, such as paying bills that are due in two days. Label another section "Important" or "Personal"; include in it "things that will put balance back into your life or have meaning for you," says Ramsland, such as "Go for a walk with Jill" (an old friend you haven't seen in a year). Put these personal items at the top of your list and star them. Then be sure to do at least one of them a day. If you can't think of anything, leave some space on your list, draw a border around the space in your favorite color--and soon you'll come up with a fun to-do to fill it.
Everyday "have-to's"--like exercising and eating right--are tools for life, not burdens. Yes, yes, you know that you have to do these things, but they needn't feel like have-to's if you can manage to upgrade your attitude toward them. Stefanie Schmidt, 30, a marine biologist from Las Vegas, makes cooking more fun by concentrating on different spices and how they change her dishes. Moreno looks forward to hitting the kitchen most when she invites friends or extended family over to cook once a week. Same goes for exercising: Find ways to change it from a have-to to a want-to. (Cartwheels on the lawn with your kid, anyone? How about 10 toe-touches before a party to put some color in your cheeks?) It'll become an opportunity to make your life richer. Going outside your usual comfort zone enriches you. The best way to feel alive--and brave--is to try some new things.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Tips for Adding More Worth to Your Life
By Jim Rohn,
1. Life is worthwhile if you LEARN. Learn from your experiences, negative or positive.
Sometimes we learn to do it right by first doing it wrong. We call that a positive negative. We also learn from other people's experiences, both positive and negative. I've always said it is too bad failures don't give seminars. The information would be very valuable - how someone who had it all, messed it up.
We learn by what we see: Pay attention. We learn by what we hear: Be a good listener. (Now, I do suggest being a selective listener -don't just let anybody dump into your mental factory.) We learn from what we read. We learn from many sources.
2. Life is worthwhile if you TRY. You can't just learn; you now have to try something to see if you can do it. Try to make a difference, try to make some progress, try to learn a new skill, try to learn a new sport. Life is worthwhile if you try. It doesn't mean you can do everything, but there are a lot of things you can do, if you just try. Try your best. Give it every effort. Why not go all out?
3. Life is worthwhile if you STAY. You have to stay from spring until harvest. If you have signed up for the day or for the game or for the project -see it through. Sometimes calamity comes and then it is worth wrapping it up, and that's the end. But just don't end in the middle. Maybe on the next project you can pass, but on this one, if you signed up, see it through.
4. Life is worthwhile if you CARE. If you care at all you will get some results; if you care enough, you can get incredible results. Care enough to make a difference. Care enough to turn somebody around. Care enough to start a new enterprise. Care enough to change it all. Care enough to be the highest producer. Care enough to set some records. Care enough to win.
Four powerful little words: learn, try, stay, and care. What difference can you make in your life today by putting these words to work?
1. Life is worthwhile if you LEARN. Learn from your experiences, negative or positive.
Sometimes we learn to do it right by first doing it wrong. We call that a positive negative. We also learn from other people's experiences, both positive and negative. I've always said it is too bad failures don't give seminars. The information would be very valuable - how someone who had it all, messed it up.
We learn by what we see: Pay attention. We learn by what we hear: Be a good listener. (Now, I do suggest being a selective listener -don't just let anybody dump into your mental factory.) We learn from what we read. We learn from many sources.
2. Life is worthwhile if you TRY. You can't just learn; you now have to try something to see if you can do it. Try to make a difference, try to make some progress, try to learn a new skill, try to learn a new sport. Life is worthwhile if you try. It doesn't mean you can do everything, but there are a lot of things you can do, if you just try. Try your best. Give it every effort. Why not go all out?
3. Life is worthwhile if you STAY. You have to stay from spring until harvest. If you have signed up for the day or for the game or for the project -see it through. Sometimes calamity comes and then it is worth wrapping it up, and that's the end. But just don't end in the middle. Maybe on the next project you can pass, but on this one, if you signed up, see it through.
4. Life is worthwhile if you CARE. If you care at all you will get some results; if you care enough, you can get incredible results. Care enough to make a difference. Care enough to turn somebody around. Care enough to start a new enterprise. Care enough to change it all. Care enough to be the highest producer. Care enough to set some records. Care enough to win.
Four powerful little words: learn, try, stay, and care. What difference can you make in your life today by putting these words to work?
Saturday, August 15, 2009
A Secret of Success
By Hal Urban, PhD, The Bottom Line
Bring out the best in others. Successful people actively build strong relationships. They do it by bringing out the best in others. Consider Benjamin Franklin. Though often thought of as a natural diplomat, he wasn't born that way. Franklin wrote that he had to work hard to overcome his tendency to fault others. As an experiment, he vowed to look for the good in others instead of judging or criticizing them - and to say only kind things about people. The experience affected him profoundly, and he credited these efforts for much of his diplomatic skill.
Don't just look for the good in people - tell them about it. Make a point of affirming at least two people every day. And say thank you at every opportunity. Showing appreciation is one of the surest ways to nurture strong relationships.
Bring out the best in others. Successful people actively build strong relationships. They do it by bringing out the best in others. Consider Benjamin Franklin. Though often thought of as a natural diplomat, he wasn't born that way. Franklin wrote that he had to work hard to overcome his tendency to fault others. As an experiment, he vowed to look for the good in others instead of judging or criticizing them - and to say only kind things about people. The experience affected him profoundly, and he credited these efforts for much of his diplomatic skill.
Don't just look for the good in people - tell them about it. Make a point of affirming at least two people every day. And say thank you at every opportunity. Showing appreciation is one of the surest ways to nurture strong relationships.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Loving a Person
Love is an emotion or a unique feeling that cannot be defined in words. It makes everyone move forward in life, how much difficult the path may be. Love-sayings truly fills our heart and is our best choice to please our beloved whatever the occasion may be, be it Valentine’s day, a day-out with your beloved, a simple marriage proposal or a special day to bring a smile on your beloved’s pretty face.
Just by a few love-sayings, you can find the reaction on your beloved’s face. Even if you are passing through a tough time with your beloved and want to him/her, a wonderful love-saying can do miracles. Particularly during these difficult times, love-sayings make your beloved feel treasured and special.
So just add cupid magic to your love life and choose a love-saying and express your feelings and never-ending love for your soulmate from the core of your heart.
Just by a few love-sayings, you can find the reaction on your beloved’s face. Even if you are passing through a tough time with your beloved and want to him/her, a wonderful love-saying can do miracles. Particularly during these difficult times, love-sayings make your beloved feel treasured and special.
So just add cupid magic to your love life and choose a love-saying and express your feelings and never-ending love for your soulmate from the core of your heart.
Saturday, August 8, 2009
It pays to be Optimistic : Better Health Through Change
The human body seems to "prefer" optimism over pessimism.
Consider these recent findings. Among heart disease patients, pessimists tend to die before optimists do. Pessimists are more likely than optimists to develop cancer. The more optimistic someone is at age 20, the healthier he/she is likely to be at age 60. Optimism or pessimism can be traced to neural connections between the brain's emotion-generating limbic system and its thought-generating cerebral cortex. These connections form in the first years of life during interactions with people around you - especially parents or other caregivers.
Even if you didn't start out an optimist, you can master the skill of optimism. That's the sense that you control your life and can shape reality for the better.
Here's what to do. Practice "downward comparison." By seeing yourself as better off than someone else, you feel better. So whenever you feel sorry for yourself, imagine people who are worse off than you. For example,If you can't find a parking space, remind yourself, "At least I have a car." Do not feel guilty about downward comparison. People who use the technique are more likely to be volunteers and altruists, which creates additional optimistic feelings of self-esteem.
Change your "explanatory style." Pessimists assume that life won't work out and berate themselves for their failures. When something good happens, it's considered a fluke. To change the way you experience life, you must change what psychologists call "explanatory style" - the way you interpret life.
Helpful: Carry note cards with you. When you have a negative thought, write it down. Then write down an optimistic version of the same thought. Even when you experience severe problems, like the death of a loved one or a divorce, remember that how you talk to yourself about what happened plays an important part in how you feel. Thinking like an optimist buoys your mood and prevents your feeling demoralized and helpless. If you don't feel it, fake it. When your sad, your brain "instructs" your facial muscles to frown. But if u smile, your brain "assumes" you're feeling happy. Do this for a few minutes and you may start to feel happy.
Helpful: Change your posture from round-shouldered or slumped to upright. Walk with a bounce instead of a shuffle. Feel less anxious by sending a mental message to your muscles to relax. Give-to get positive feedback in return. Because emotions are molded by interaction with others, moods are sensitive to emotional signals from others. Smile at someone, and a returned smile reinforces your optimistic feelings. That's why it's worthwhile being upbeat with others and showing interest in them - even when you don't feel like it. The strongest optimism - producing sensation is touch. When you're down, cuddle with your partner or get a massage.
Also: Spend time in nature or buy a videotape that shows peaceful landscapes. Scent your environment with candles or aromatherapy oils.
Consider these recent findings. Among heart disease patients, pessimists tend to die before optimists do. Pessimists are more likely than optimists to develop cancer. The more optimistic someone is at age 20, the healthier he/she is likely to be at age 60. Optimism or pessimism can be traced to neural connections between the brain's emotion-generating limbic system and its thought-generating cerebral cortex. These connections form in the first years of life during interactions with people around you - especially parents or other caregivers.
Even if you didn't start out an optimist, you can master the skill of optimism. That's the sense that you control your life and can shape reality for the better.
Here's what to do. Practice "downward comparison." By seeing yourself as better off than someone else, you feel better. So whenever you feel sorry for yourself, imagine people who are worse off than you. For example,If you can't find a parking space, remind yourself, "At least I have a car." Do not feel guilty about downward comparison. People who use the technique are more likely to be volunteers and altruists, which creates additional optimistic feelings of self-esteem.
Change your "explanatory style." Pessimists assume that life won't work out and berate themselves for their failures. When something good happens, it's considered a fluke. To change the way you experience life, you must change what psychologists call "explanatory style" - the way you interpret life.
Helpful: Carry note cards with you. When you have a negative thought, write it down. Then write down an optimistic version of the same thought. Even when you experience severe problems, like the death of a loved one or a divorce, remember that how you talk to yourself about what happened plays an important part in how you feel. Thinking like an optimist buoys your mood and prevents your feeling demoralized and helpless. If you don't feel it, fake it. When your sad, your brain "instructs" your facial muscles to frown. But if u smile, your brain "assumes" you're feeling happy. Do this for a few minutes and you may start to feel happy.
Helpful: Change your posture from round-shouldered or slumped to upright. Walk with a bounce instead of a shuffle. Feel less anxious by sending a mental message to your muscles to relax. Give-to get positive feedback in return. Because emotions are molded by interaction with others, moods are sensitive to emotional signals from others. Smile at someone, and a returned smile reinforces your optimistic feelings. That's why it's worthwhile being upbeat with others and showing interest in them - even when you don't feel like it. The strongest optimism - producing sensation is touch. When you're down, cuddle with your partner or get a massage.
Also: Spend time in nature or buy a videotape that shows peaceful landscapes. Scent your environment with candles or aromatherapy oils.
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Hugging is the Answer
Perhaps I feel that hugging is the answer because my wife is affectionately known as "The Happy Hugger." If it's moving, she'll stop it and hug it, and if it's not moving, she'll dust it off and sell it! There's another reason I believe hugging is the answer, however. According to Greg Risberg of the Northwestern University Medical School in Chicago, the physiological benefit of hugging includes a reduction of blood pressure and increased oxygen in the blood. He said that we all have a "skin hunger" and we are missing out on a vital part of our health if we're not getting in on some serious hugging. He maintains that four hugs a day are the minimum required to meet that skin hunger.
From my perspective, I need lots more than four. Stanley Simon of the University of Massachusetts said that "hugging does more than demonstrate affection. It actually seems to keep people healthy. The skin is the body's largest sensory organ. If it's under-stimulated, many people actually develop an aching sensation. These are the people who will find it harder to get well and to stay well."
For the benefit of you husbands, let me tell you something about your wives. They love hugs but resent it when you ignore them all day and then give them your undivided attention when the lights go out at night. They want a hug when a hug is all you have on your mind. They don't necessarily want them to be long, and in most cases, they do not want them to be suggestive or sensual. The hug really says, "I love you, I enjoy being around you, you're important to me, I look forward to spending more time with you." There's an old saying that actions speak louder than words, and to take a few seconds a number of times during the day to get and give those non-suggestive hugs really speaks volumes. Give it a try!
From my perspective, I need lots more than four. Stanley Simon of the University of Massachusetts said that "hugging does more than demonstrate affection. It actually seems to keep people healthy. The skin is the body's largest sensory organ. If it's under-stimulated, many people actually develop an aching sensation. These are the people who will find it harder to get well and to stay well."
For the benefit of you husbands, let me tell you something about your wives. They love hugs but resent it when you ignore them all day and then give them your undivided attention when the lights go out at night. They want a hug when a hug is all you have on your mind. They don't necessarily want them to be long, and in most cases, they do not want them to be suggestive or sensual. The hug really says, "I love you, I enjoy being around you, you're important to me, I look forward to spending more time with you." There's an old saying that actions speak louder than words, and to take a few seconds a number of times during the day to get and give those non-suggestive hugs really speaks volumes. Give it a try!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)